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Not for the Squeamish KLM wins it!

This is a fart story contest. Yes, you heard right. I wanna see who has the best fart story. It has to be a good one to win, I'm not doing it based on comparison to the other stories, I'm doing it based on comparison to my own experience, and it has to be about your own fart. Keep in mind I've made grown men run out of a room screaming like a girl on more then one occassion, so I'm not going to be that easily impressed. Yes this is gross, childish, and immature, but those are my specialties. I've got a nice little handful waiting for the winner.

Tags: Not, Squeamish, for, the

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Permalink Reply by Kell on July 13, 2008 at 12:19pm

When we were in college my friend, let a real nasty fart go in his car. Gasping for air one of my friends in the back seat opened the car door to get some air. A woman police officer was behind us and pulled the car over. She came up to the car and asked "why the back door was opening?". We were all laughing and she caught wind of the smell, she shook her head and said "next time just roll down the windows". The driver said "Yes, Ma'am it won't happen again." and as we drove away, he let another big smelly fart go and we were laughing so much we couldn't get the windows down fast enough.

Permalink Reply by Eric on July 13, 2008 at 4:32pm

After thorough review, the current winner is KLM. Now the contest is not yet over, mainly because I'm waiting to get my next paycheck before I pay to ship anything anywhere. Now there have been some excellent fart stories over the past couple days,however, a few were fart stories about other people, some were really shit stories, and at least one was due to a medical operation so it can't really count since it wasn't on your own. It was close between KLM and Sean Smyth since both made military personel puke, however, KLM made a 1st SGT puke AND it was outdoors. It had plenty of room to spread and ventilate but it still made him puke. so KLM is now the man to beat.

Permalink Reply by Tazdiablo on July 15, 2008 at 4:08am

Okay let me start off with a little background, when my wife and I got together she was working as a Certified Nurse's Aide in a nursing home. She had to deal with shit and gas, all horrible, on a daily basis. Due to this my regular methane bombs were nothing to her. So on to the fart

My wife, fiance at the time, decided she was going to make me something I had never had before....salmon patties. I am game for anything so I tried them, as this WAS one of her favorite things to eat. So all is good, we eat drink and decided to move to living to watch a movie and see whatever else happens. While sitting there I start feeling the gas factory kicking on. At the same time the fiance and I start making out as I lean over to start nibbling on her neck, the pressure reaches it max capacity and comes out with a vengence. The time was probably right under 10 secs. But the smell hit us fast and hard. My fiance was trying so hard to not smell that she began to hyperventilate, even I was amazed that such a horrendous odor could come from my bowels. I grab her and take her outside where she starts to catch her breath again. I have to go back into the apartment and open all the windows to air the place out. The bad part was that it was just the beginning. for about 1.5 hours straight I am passing this gas. The smell never gets any better until finally I have to go drop the kids off at the pool. My fiance took off and stayed her moms for about 4 hours. The bad part was having to keep the windows open to air out the place and having people pass by and then start cursing. I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life.

Needless to say my wife has never, ever again made me salmon patties.

Permalink Reply by Eric on July 15, 2008 at 2:51pm

I gotta say, you probably would've won if you had locked the two of you in the building to make her suffer through the smell as long as possible. Then again, I'm just evil like that.

Permalink Reply by Eric on July 22, 2008 at 4:13pm

Contest is over, KLM is the winner.