18 x 2

On the cusp of my 36^th birthday, my left brain reminds me that 18 years have passed since my 18^th birthday.

18 years since 18, and I’ve lived several lives between then and now. Between that young man, and this one. And in the early hours of the morning, I look back to marvel at his 18 years versus my 18.

On my 18^th birthday, I was two weeks from raising my right hand,

to take the enlistment oath for the Air Force. I had no idea about what was in store.

I was in the Air Force, but I spent a lot of time writing music, playing with sounds and electronics, and writing in general. I fell in with a crowd one could call Neo-Beatnik, and even went to stay in San Francisco, on Haight Street, for an eye-opening sojourn. I also played bass in a bar band, all Air Force enlisted guys, including one of the best drummers I’d ever worked with. We played all over the island of Oahu, in bars and at parties, and we had a great time doing it.

21 years old, and my last year of Air Force duty, I took leave to New Zealand for a month, to “go up on the mountain” and figure out what was next. While there, I did some recordings that convinced me to continue my music, but also get involved in studio music production. I also finally buried the ghost of my high school sweetheart, and returned to press on with a more serious romantic involvement.

I left my last duty assignment before Christmas, and in the airport lounge, told a teary-eyed love that I would be back for her. And at 22 years old, my military career was done.

I moved to Florida to attend an audio engineering school, and while there, continued working on my music, and branched out into spoken word performance. Cashing in on free studio time at the school, I was working with a couple producers to craft an album to shop to different labels. We took tones of heavy metal, multiple layers of digital percussion, and mix techniques from techno music, making a fairly dense and strident feel.

I was having a great time, but I was lonely as well. Though I had proposed to my love, our engagement was strained by the extended absence. After I graduated, the school hired me to teach lab sessions, and I freelanced in studio sessions as well, but I never seemed to make much money. I was always battling to keep either phone or electricity on at the apartment, when I had one. My 24^th birthday found me couching with friends, practically transient.

My love, still in the Air Force, got stationed in Nebraska, and so I packed up my flotsam and drove to my next leap of faith. My 25^th birthday found me unemployed in Nebraska, scrambling to find even part time work. I eventually found temp work, through an agency, and did freelance audio work on the side. The freelance audio work, after a year and a half, was a boost to the full time job I still have, 9 years later.

My 27^th birthday was spent arranging wedding invitations, a wedding to the love I told 5 years earlier that I would be back for.

My 28^th birthday was met with celebratory kicks from the baby boy in my mate’s belly.

My 31^st birthday was a celebration of barbeque on the deck of my own house, marveling at the bulge of twin girls under my mate’s overalls.

My 33^rd birthday was getting back into, and finally understanding the subtle pleasures of, golf.

My 36^th birthday will be rocking my three week-old daughter, mowing my lawn, grilling steaks for the family, and enjoying a great cigar at the end of the day.

These last 18 years have seen toil and tears, poverty and plenty, and mercy and miracles. In all of my times of trouble and darkness, I always turned to Jesus for the grace to bear the sorrows, and direction to change my fortunes. In my times of blessing, I always gave thanks to my Maker, and did my best to share my blessings.